Thursday, October 7, 2010
I've felt lethargic and ill lately.
My mood has been all over the place.
And I'm back to the same weight I was at after Melissa was born. Not good.
There are all sorts of reasons I could give for this, and there are all sorts of excuses I could make about it, but the truth is, I've let myself go. One might say to some degree it's justified, given what the past year has thrown at me, but I can't go on letting this hold me back.
I saw Alicia last Friday, and she gave me the book "The Spark". It's a sort of companion guide to the SparkPeople website. I've been a member for years, but I haven't kept up with it lately. I start and stop, start and stop. Reading the first chapter of the book was like having a bucket of cold water poured over my head. It showed me that I need to re-learn how to take care of myself. I can't make excuses. The frustrations I experience at work, the issues I'm having at home, they all can be tied to self-pity. Lack of motivation. Some times I need to just stop and kick myself in the rear. And it doesn't have to be huge. Baby steps work. Ugh.
I guess it annoys me, because I should know better. I did this once. I may have been 10 years younger at the time, but you know what? That's an excuse. People older than me have done this. I used to tell people *how* to be successful with this. I. Know. This.
But knowing isn't enough. I have to OWN this. I have to make it a part of my daily routine. My life. I can't rely on anyone else, it has to be my responsibility, my choice.
I can say I'm doing it for the kids, for my relationship, for whatever. But if I don't do it for ME, it isn't going to happen.
I'm doing it. Starting now. Let's see how this goes.
Oh, and encouragement is welcome, but please don't feel the need to give me tips/tricks/advice. It just annoys me. Like I said, I've taught people how to do this. I don't need reminders of what I've been doing wrong lately.
And any SparkPeople reading this, my username there is zanne-y if ya want to drop a line or add me as a friend on the site. This is always more interesting when you have someone to work with.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
I'm probably gonna finish a sock project for my WIP first. I have a few to choose from. The lace I'm working on is Anthemion from S/S Knitty. I'm finishing Chart A now, it's coming along well, helping me get my knitting and lace mojo back. The top will be Waterlily tank. I've had the stuff to make it for a long time, and now's the time to finish it. I know it's cool-weather time, but I like tops like that to wear around the house. And it should be fairly quick to knit. Sort of a monkey on my back. The new sock has yet to be chosen. Probably something simple. I like lace, but have enough complicated stuff going on so a simple sock should work well. And my WIP socks are more complicated.
After Waterlily is done, I will be working on the Eileen cardi from Deep Fall Knitty. Oh, and thrown in there somewhere will be a few Brambles berets. I have loads o' yarn that will work. I think hats are a better idea for my perpetually growing children. When their feet stop growing, they'll get more socks.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
And good yarn and needles and the Perfect Pattern.
Friday, July 2, 2010
So I worked last night. Got all of, maybe, 4 hours of sleep, interrupted. Last day with all the kidlets this week. They all go to their respective fathers’ houses tonight. I have two nights off. There will be sleeping. There will be the having of fun. And there will be quality time spent alone with Michael. Love that part of my off weekends. On the agenda for today: a whole lot of nothing. Don’t know when I’ll have to drop off Caleb and Amber, so we’re hanging out at the house playing video games and on the computer. Why yes, it’s a beautiful day, but ya know what? Sometimes it’s nice to watch it from the window. Especially when I’m not sure how long I’ll be able to stay awake…
Thursday, July 1, 2010
On my way out to Chuck E. Cheese with the kidlets for dinner. I figure it’s a good way to not have to cook and be able to let the kids run around like little maniacs. I’m hoping to find something to knit while the kids play.
Just got a phone call from a recruiter looking for someone to take a Help Desk 1 position. Two month contract. Pay is about what I make at the store, but it’s 40hrs per week, and gets be CURRENT work in the field. Keep fingers crossed for me! It’s just what I need to get back in the swing of things. We shall see what comes of it.
Hoping to post more regularly again. We’ll see if I manage to follow through. I’m also working on knitting regularly so I should have something here to show for it. Wish me luck in all things!
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
It goes something like this... Boy and girl meet at summer camp. Boy has crush on "older" girl, writes her a love note. Gives it to her on the playground and runs away (he's about 11, she's around 12). Girl pretends to brush off her friend's little brother, but secretly keeps note for years and many moves, and thinks about him from time to time. Boy moves on as does girl.
Fast forward 20 years. Boy sees girl at work in a local retail store while shopping with his fiancee. Girl is in process of a divorce, and is just living day to day, dealing with care of 4 kids and a professional career on hold. They catch up on the ubiquitous Facebook. She starts watching as his relationship founders and collapses. Gives support. He sees she's having car troubles. He's a mechanic and offers to help. She invites him over for an evening of movie watching and relaxing. And he doesn't leave until the following evening. He has no kids never married, so there's the whole two different worlds/love lost and found/internet beginnings, all that stuff.
I think it could be a hit. Get John Cusack to star in it, along with, oh, Renee Zellweger. What do you think?
p.s. Michael, I love you.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Friday, January 22, 2010
I'll bet you want to see a picture of the heel, don't you? Okay... here it is...
This particular anklet is being knit in her 100% merino in a lovely rainbow colorway.
The instep is being knit in a lacy pattern that I found in Bella Catina Italiana sock pattern. It's a free pattern, I'm sure one could find it if you search, because I'm too lazy to find and link it. You can always find it on Ravelry, I know it's there. It's a simple 6-stitch, 4 row pattern which is very easy to memorize, and quite addictive. Also really stretchy.
And with that, it's time for me to get ready to go to work. Have a nice night.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Time to move on.
And somehow the process of moving on takes you back to your roots. It brings back people from your past. People you can trust. People who knew you before your mistakes. Who still care about you in spite of them. Because they too know that life happens, and it's happened to them too.
So life has come full-circle and you're back where it all began and this time you know better and hope to make better decisions.
Time to start over.
What a ride.