Monday, August 11, 2008

Sade is Evil

I'm amused because when I started typing "Sade" the title "Sade Rocks" pulled from my history. And she does rock, but today she is also evil, as she tagged me for a meme, and normally I avoid them. But just for her, I'll play.

Da rulez:

  1. Link to the person who tagged you (see above).
  2. Post the rules on your blog (this is what you are now reading).
  3. Write 6 random things about yourself (see below).
  4. Tag 6 people at the end of your post and link to them (This is only a game)
  5. Let each person know they have been tagged and leave a comment on their blog
  6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up

Six Things About Me (that you couldn’t care less about)(yes, I'm taking hints from Sade's blog. so sue me)

  1. I’m a Libra through and through. Always trying to keep the peace and balance.
  2. I'm a true cross-platform person. I see the value of Windows, Mac, and Linux depending on your situation
  3. I often wonder how the hell I can possibly be responsible for caring for four small humans on a daily basis when I don't know how I manage to take care of myself.
  4. I am an absolute chocoholic, and have apparently passed that gene on to my youngest son.
  5. I apparently look a lot like my mom. Sound like her too.
  6. I once got to sit in my late best friend's bedroom and listen to Corey Taylor, lead singer of SlipKnot, sing showtunes while playing an acoustic guitar.

There. Now you know 6 things about me that you would have never guessed. And I gaurantee there are hundreds others that I'm not tellin'. Girl's gotta have some secrets.

Who to tag...

Oh lessee... Forgive me if you've already done this but here are the tags off the top of my head... turtlegirl, artsygal, string, mickey, Naomi, and Ann. Blame it on the European who tagged me. ;)

Friday, August 8, 2008

People we don't appreciate enough.

So yesterday I had more people comment on my blog post than ever before I think, and I think it's in part due to the fact that I've become active on facebook and the delightful plurk sites, so people there read it. And I realized that the comments people left did help me feel better. It helped me to validate the fact that I felt rotten even after all these years. And then I decided that people who leave comments on blogs are far too underappreciated. So I want to say thank you to all of you who took the time to share with me. It really helped.

Of course, that led to a train of thought about others who aren't appreciated enough in general. Like your friendly neighborhood garbage man. In the old house, I was forever forgetting to get my trash out on time, so I developed a great phone relationship with Brenda in the office at Green Valley Disposal, the people who picked up our trash. They were wonderful there, and I actually will miss having htem, because they were great about taking whatever I put out to be hauled away, no complaints. They were also understanding of my scatterbrainedness (due to being a SAHM of 4 kids etc.) and would go out of their way to help me out. I doubt I'll have that kind of relationship with the people we have now, simply because it's part of the park contract to pick up our trash (I have nothing to do with it personally, aside from making sure my 4 small or 2 large bags are out at the curb Sunday night for Monday pickup). Oh well. I'm still grateful that someone is willing to haul away the things I must dispose of.

Then I went to pick up the mail from the old house (because my scatterbrained self didn't send out the change of address forms until yesterday). I stopped at my neighbors' house to get the mail they took out of the box for us. And I realized that too often we take good neighbors for granted. The kind who will send their kids over to bring you coffee when you run out, and keep an eye out for random pets that escape and bring them home to you. Also the kind who know it's okay to call you to have you check on their teenage kids when they're out and said kids aren't paying attention to the phone. :) I'll really miss having those kinds of neighbors. It took a while to get to that point there... not sure if I'll get to be like that with my new neighbors.

I also decided that non-custodial parents who take their visitation time seriously are something to be grateful for, as I dropped my elderbeasts off to their dad for the weekend (and heard said ex tell our daughter that she needs to listen to me more often). I definitely appreciated the fact that he turned his life around and is working to become a Productive Member of Society now, even if he had to move in with MY parents to get to that point (heh... that's a story all its own). But I know too many people who are quick to criticize their ex's without taking the time to appreciate the fact that they are at least trying to do better.

Finally, I want to express my appreciation to whoever decided that there needed to be cable channels that showed toddler-level shows 24 hours a day. Sprout and Noggin are a godsend to me, especially as my little ones get back to some sort of normal human schedule.

I'm sure there was someone else I intended to add to my list, if I remember, I shall make note of it. But for now, Huzzah! to all of those I've mentioned. I really do appreciate you.

Feel free to add to this list in the comments section. I'd like to know who else you think is underappreciated.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Happy Birthday Kellie. Miss you. How long will it hurt?

Today would be the 34th birthday of my best friend in the multiverse, Kittie. It's been over 3 years, and it still hurts like it was yesterday. I keep wondering why I still miss her so much.

All I can figure is that ther is simply no one who has been or could be as close to me as she was. I have some moderately close friends, but none quite like she was. She was with me during my entire labor for my first child. She was so honest about our friendship that she actually withdrew from me during part of that pregnancy because she knew that she was angry about it and didn't want to bring me down with negative comments. When she finally came to terms with it, our friendship resumed.

I was there for her when she found out her husband didn't love her anymore. I'm still convinced the only reason I ended up back in Des Moines that summer was for this event. She was there for me when I came to my senses and ended my relationship with my older kids' father. And she didn't even say "I told you so." Not once.

Perhaps it still hurts because part of me thinks that I should have been there with her to do more for her when she got sick. I was ready to bring her here, where she could have had better treatment, better care. But the kids... couldn't have her up here with the kids around. Little kids and Leukemia just don't mix. She had NO immunity to anything... I didn't want her to get sick from my kids. But she got sick anyways, even though the cancer was almost gone. All I could do was make sure she had internet access. I'm sure it helped her, made her feel better to be able to get in touch with the rest of the world. I remember the phone conversations when the headaches were too bad for her to look at the screen. The vain attempts to get someone to replace her laptop display. The day she had her head shaved. Before that, I remember the day she caught me online... and told me to call her, because she had something important to say that she couldn't tell me online... and her informing me of the original diagnosis. She reached out for me then, because she knew I wouldn't treat her any differently, even though she was sick. I still gave her crap about everything, still acted like there was nothing wrong. The same way, when we were walking down the halls while I was in labor, she would just stop talking while I had a contraction and let me get through it, then start up again when it was done, as if nothing had happened. That's what we were to each other - anchors who could be trusted to not flip out over things. Who knew that as long as the other was there, we could get through whatever was thrown at us. We kept each other honest with ourselves, if that makes sense. Regardless of what we told anyone else, we made sure that at least we acknowledged the truth of our own feelings. And we respected each others mistakes and allowed each other to make them.

Maybe that's why it still hurts... Up to that point, all the pain and suffering I had, all the different losses... she was there to keep me grounded through them. But in her passing, I lost that anchor. So now I'm adrift. I don't know that I'll ever find that kind of anchor again (and don't go talking about my husband or anything either, because it's SO not the same). Hopefully I'll find something similar, someday. The friendship that lasts beyond the distance and years. I do have online friendships that are close, but for that anchor it needs to be one that is cemented with trips to the mall, nights at the movies, and time spent hanging out together and just being together.

So here's to you, Kellie. I know you didn't drink, but I'll raise a glass of wine to you anyways. Happy birthday.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Here I sit

Knitting at Pomotomus (which I found, and realized I could get the foot chart for now that the puter's online), and remembering how addicting a knit it is. It's being knit in Lagoon Kettle Dyed yarn by Artsygal. So it's a Fish in the Water sock. Looks awesome, and for now, you'll have to take my word for it.

I think I may put it down and go sit in front of the tv and knit at clapotis for a while. I'm on the decreases. I'll have another SD card by Friday (Caleb sent mine into hiding) so I can take pics of the rest of my projects and put 'em up. I also think I've settled on yarn for my Hibiscus sock. I got the pattern yesterday, and woah. It's serious-thought knitting. But well worth the effort, I'm sure.

And now, for a quick pic of my little pirate:

Thank you, and have a nice night.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008


I am giving you, my faithful knitting-type readers, a mission. YOU need to go to the Knitters for Knockers blog. Make a donation. Get the pattern. Knit the sock. Then come show me how you did. I promise you, it will be one of the most satisfying knits of your life. And it goes to a wonderful cause. Thank you.